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If Your Teen Tells You They’ve Been Sexually Assaulted?
- Listen
- Believe
- Support
- Tell them that they are not to blame
- Allow them to have control of what they want to do next
- Offer to accompany them to the hospital, doctor or
Regional Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Treatment
Centre for medical/forensic evidence collection, testing and
treatment
- Contacting police is the victims/survivor’s choice
- Consider support and counselling for yourself as well as
your teen
- Everyone is unique in their healing. The length of time
it takes to regain a sense of safety and trust is also very
individual
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The best case
scenario for the collection of evidence is now. A
sexual assault evidence kit can be collected up to
72 hours after the assault. |
A parent’s possible reaction:
When you find out that your teen has been sexually assaulted
you may experience powerful emotions. Common feelings are anger,
sadness, guilt that you were unable to protect her/him, and
confusion about what to do next.
It is important to understand that sexual assault
can happen to anyone, any age, anytime and anywhere.
For more information go to:
Sexual Assault Centre London
Regional Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Treatment Centre
When a person is assaulted, they are a victim/survivor of a
crime. Victims/survivors are not to blame.
The person who did
this to them is responsible.
It is very important for the
victim/survivor to have control of what they want to do next
from the many options they have to choose from. The front of
your phone book will provide you with various resources and
options.
Contacting the police is the victim/survivor’s choice.
Police do not have to be involved to access services from the
Regional Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Treatment Centre.
If your teen is agreeable to talk with the sexual assault
on-call nurse about options for care, treatment, evidence
collection, medical testing and prevention of pregnancy,
sexually transmitted infections, have her/him go to either the
Urgent Care Centre at St. Joseph’s Hospital (8am-10pm) or any
Hospital Emergency Room (anytime).
Evidence can be collected and
preserved for up to 72 hours post assault. This can be done
anonymously and stored for one year or handed over to police
(with consent).
Take care of yourself at this very difficult and
stressful time. Consider talking with a counselor about your
feelings, reactions and how to best support your teen.
Everyone
is unique in their healing and the length of time it takes to
regain a sense of safety and trust.
Know where to access help as
free services are available 24/7/365.
To find out more
information:
What are Date Rape Drugs?
- Alcohol is the #1 drug used in sexual assault
- Over the counter drugs (i.e. gravol, antihistamines)
- Illegal drugs (i.e. ecstasy, GHB, Ketamine)
- Combinations of different medications/substances can be
very
What Can I Do To Help Prevent Sexual Assault From
Happening To My Teen?
Remember that you make a real difference
in their life! Encourage communication and some negotiation
around rules and expectations
Abuse in Dating Relationships
- Remember that you make a real difference in their
life!
- Encourage communication and some negotiation around rules
and expectations.
- Everyone wants some praise and to feel they
are valued, respected, cared about, capable and responsible.
- Maintain and model open, honest communication.
- Show them you
care about them. Be involved in their life.
- Talk about your
concerns.
- Let them know they can talk to or call you anytime.
- Set limits and boundaries because you care about what can happen
to them.
- Encourage them to avoid alcohol (or at least limit
their consumption).
- Encourage teens to stay together and watch
out for each other.
- Know where they are, who they are with and
when they will be home.
- Educate them about the dangers and
possibilities and what to do if something does happen.
Be a good
role model “practice what you preach”
To find out more
information on parenting:
What Can We Do To Prevent Sexual
Violence?
Work to change personal and societal attitudes, and
promote equality between women and men. Educate yourself and
others about sexual violence - raise awareness and improve
understandings. Speak out about sexual violence and forms of
sexism. Take steps to protect yourself, but do not put the onus
on potential victims to prevent sexual violence. Responsibility
always rests with the offender. Speak up - While you may never
see a sexual assault in progress, you will witness behaviours
that degrade women and promote rape. The next time your friend
tells a joke about rape; the next time you read an article in
the newspaper that blames a rape victim for being assaulted, SAY
SOMETHING!
Dating Violence is any intentional use of emotional,
psychological, physical or sexual abuse of one partner by
another.
Violence is wrong and it is against the law.
If you
recognize some of the signs or are uncomfortable or fearful in
your relationship, know that help is available.
- Talk to someone
you trust
- Express your concerns
- Get support
- Explore your options
Consider:
- 24 hour crisis lines to talk to someone anonymously
about your situation
- Counselling
- Talking to your family doctor
- Exploring the internet for more information about healthy
relationships
- Contacting community resources for help
- Look in
the front of your telephone book for a list of resources
“Emergency Numbers”
For more information:
What Is A Healthy
Dating Relationship?
- Direct, clear, open, honest communication
- Respect
- Kindness
- Trust
- Support
- Fun
- You listen and are also heard
- You feel equal
- You are able to spend time with others
- You like
how you feel as you feel cared about and valued
- You don’t have
to always agree
- You feel safe in disagreeing
- Negotiation-willing
to compromise
- Accountability
- Responsibility
- Comfortable
- Understanding
What Is An Unhealthy Relationship?
Parents, Family
and Friends
What To Do If You Have Concerns About A Relationship
- Express your concerns
- Listen
- Be supportive
- Help the person to
explore their options
- Offer to go to any appointments with them
for support
- Be patient and understanding
- Keep an “open door”
that you are there any time you are needed
- Provide resources
- Help to safety plan
- Encourage them to get professional help and counselling
- Get support for yourself
- Get educated about the
resources in your community that can help
Things to always remember…
- Never assume that your
date/partner wants the same
things as you do.
- Silence or a
lack of resistance is not
consent.
- Separate what you want
(desire) from what you do
(action).
- Consent for sex cannot
be given when under the
influence of alcohol and/or
drugs
- Without consent it is
sexual assault.
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No one has the right to force you to do
anything that you don’t want to do.
Everyone
is responsible for their own words, actions
and behaviour.
| For more information:
Other helpful links…
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Resources for men
Legal Resources
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